I've said all the words I need to say. I've committed as many times as is possible to commit. I've stated "I WILL DO THIS" with gusto - fist pump and all. As I get ready to say those things once again, I wonder how much value they really hold for others but most of all for me. Do I even believe myself anymore? Am I like the girl that cried wolf too many times? I will do this and then I don't or haven't. Does that make me a failure?
Or, is saying "I will do this" like saying "I love you" and it gains more strength each time you say it. What if that were the case. What if we are all bound and destined to fall but the fact that we get back up and shout at the top of our lungs "I WILL DO THIS!" is where success comes in. Perhaps the success is that we got back up. There's a famous quote about that actually.
I have to find some comfort in getting back up. It's got to be what drives me forward. One of these times, I will get up and not go back down. When I do that, I will have mastered the process. I might not have succeeded because I think the success is in the doing. But by not failing, I will have move past the issue.
In the meantime, I will recommit to the process as many times as I have to in order to get this right. I will fall on my face, back, bum, or even my rolly polly belly and I will still stand up and shout as loud as possible "I WILL DO THIS!" and then I will just do it.
That's what we do because we have to. If we don't, then we give in to all the things holding us back. We give in to the heartache that makes us eat or the fear of failure that holds us back. One way or another, we will lose out on finding our potential.
I do not want that to happen to me. I have to see this through.
So I will blog about the things I've blogged about before as I learn how to manage my eating, my loss, and my maintenance. The words will get reused because I need to hear them and say them and ingrain them into my brain until I can't do anything but get back up and DO THIS!