Friday, January 21, 2011

Happy Pill

Somewhere, somehow, I've downed a happy pill and it has me rah rah rah-ing enough to even annoy myself!

Have you noticed that there's a big difference between trying to convince yourself you're happy but not really taking it in and actually believing it and projecting it accordingly? When I believe it, I soak it in. It seeps into my bones and it then radiates from my pours.

I have no doubt that when I'm in the groove, I'm the most annoying person to be around ... ever. I make wise food choices, I make wise personal choices, and I unwilling to let others influence my choices ... that and most of the time, I'm singin' a little tune, dancin' a little jig, and bursting forth with happiness. I'll admit that's hard for some to handle but I'll also admit that I'm ok with that.

I'm finding myself these days and the me I'm discovering finds pleasure in making wise choices. I went to bed with a very teeny tiny rumbling in my tummy last night. This would have sent me to the kitchen immediately but as I slipped off to sleep last night, I thought "wow, I can control this behavior". That's powerful.

When I first started on plan, waaaaay back in the day, I remember these feelings. I wasn't afraid of a little hunger. I wasn't afraid that the hunger would mean I was unsatisfied or somehow LESS of a person. I'm not exactly sure where I picked up that belief along the way, but it's a false belief and frankly, most of the time when I felt "hungry" it wasn't hunger I was really feeling! It was cravings or feelings I was trying to stuff. Therein lies the difference.

I'm not saying that I expect life to be roses and sun from now on, but I do know that as I hold onto my positive attitude and confidence, I'll be able to face whatever is coming my way.

I went to a horse conference on endurance riding over the weekend and boy did that motivated me! I see breeches in my future and a fat girl should NOT ever wear breeches. They are more revealing than stretch pants. Not good.

So, armed with my goal of an endurance ride in March-ish, I'm still energized and on plan. I passed up M&M's, burgers at Red Robin, doughnuts, and more and each time I said "no" ... I knew I was saying "yes" to me future.

Here's to the future that's fast approaching. I can rock this and I am. Finally. I'm in the groooooove! I'm so excited for my weigh in on Tuesday. I see a BIG drop in my future!


  1. Glad to see you back. It seems to me, that sometimes when we lose weight we think all our problems are over. But they're not. If we dont deal with our own demons we are subject to failure. I feel sometimes weight is just a symptom of our demons and not the demon himself. Hope that made sense. Gracie

  2. That's so true! We attribute our unhappiness to the weight we're carrying around but the truth is that we're putting on weight because we're unhappy. We eat to numb the pain.

  3. Hey nice blog and I am feeling very happy after reading this and congrats you for your main goal in the weight loss .


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