Today I'm wearing a pair of jeans that I love to love and love to hate.
These are the jeans I called Letha about when I slipped them on at Macy's and was beyond excited that a size 12 fit nicely. At my lowest they were too big and more than once had been on the goodwill pile because I didn't want clothes around that were too big anymore. Going up wasn't an option. But ... I'd saved them because I loved them and sentimentally, they meant something to me.
On the other hand, when I was gaining, I had them on hand because I needed them. For awhile, they were the only jeans I could wear. A month ago though, when I was at my heaviest, I hated them. They almost ended up back on the Goodwill pile because they were reminders of how far I'd slipped.
Through the various ups and downs and ups, these jeans held their place in my closet and today were again debuted with excitement.
There's something about slipping into a pair of jeans you'd almost given up hope of fitting into again that makes you feel energized and recharged. I CAN do this! I AM doing this!
I've attempted to slip these on before but I can't tell you how impossible that feat had become.
I'm sure the amount of pain I was in when I wore them last was written across my face ... it was for sure written across my waist! Ugh! I had to lay down to zip and button them, my toes lost feeling and I couldn't sit or my buttons would pop. I was consistently worried that my butt cheek could rip the pockets out. Not pretty! After that little venture, they were relegated to the back of the closet.
Well, today I'm happy to report that not only did I get them on but they aren't cutting off circulation or making my extremities numb when I sit for extended periods of time. I can wear them and bend my knees. In fact, I can wear them, bend my knees AND cross my legs. Whoa!
What's even better, I feel good in them again. What a feeling!
Yes, I love these jeans and for now I think it's a mutually beneficial relationship.
I see an ending approaching to our relationship though and this time, I'm ok with that. I plan to part ways with these jeans when they get too big. They'll venture off to Goodwill where I'm sure some other girl will be thrilled to find them. Perhaps these jeans will inspire her when she fits into a size 12 again and will push her forward in her journey just like they did with me.
In the meantime, it's time to pull out my size 10s, hang them out for inspiration, and get those babies ready for their debut too. I'll be in them before you know it!