Friday, December 3, 2010

Crisis = Danger + Opportunity

Well, it's been awhile and my how life has changed!

It's amazing that just when I think I've got a handle on life, it throws me a curve ball. Such is the nature of the last couple of months. I've had some ups, downs, arounds, and am now in process of climbing back up out of the hole I dug myself into whilst trying to figure out what in the world was going on.

This last year has been filled with life lessons and for that, I'm thankful. Someone very important to me said that the Chinese symbol for crisis is the symbol for danger mixed with the symbol for opportunity. What a great way to look at a crisis! It's dangerous because it means we have to go through something uncomfortable but it's an opportunity because we can come out on the other side of the crisis with a new outlook, new direction, and new attitude. For that, I'm thankful.

'Tis the season for thanksgiving, right?

It's no secret that I've been stopping, starting, stopping, starting etc. my diet plan for months ... ok, really, for the last year. You all have faithfully followed along with my ups and cheered me on accordingly. I've been writing that I'm going to get serious, I've been telling myself I'm going to get serious, and then life throws one of those curve balls my way and I get completely sidetracked. This shows that I've been letting life rule me instead of me ruling my life.

That changes now.

I've made some changes in my personal life and those are allowing me to better focus on myself. I'm getting back in touch with the Wendy I was becoming a year ago.

You know, I've missed her. She was starting to gain a bunch of confidence and was friendly, cute, fun, and had a passion for life. Those are all things that I want to get back to and bring out again.

So, for the reeeeeeeeally hard part.

I've ballooned back up to 243 which ... ugh ... it soooo pains me to write that number down. It's far more tempting to go back to the old way of doing things and ignore the number. That's not helping me though and it's certainly not letting me ignore it by the tight fitting clothes and lack of energy it's bringing back into my life.

A 243 pound life is not the life I want to lead. I deserve better than that.

I'd like to reach 174 which would be 60 pounds total. From Tuesday to Thursday, I'm already down 3 pounds. That leaves 57 more to go! I've lost 100 before ... I can lose 57. This is doable.

I created a little picture that I'm using to track my progress. As I lose a pound, I'm crossing off a step in my journey. Each 10 pound goal will be a BIG celebration (facial, etc.) so that I'm consistently reminded I need to reward myself as I go along.
So, I know you all might be tired of my back and forth behavior .... but you know, that's just how my journey is playing itself out.

I'm learning as I go along and each backslide is an opportunity for me to learn about myself and grow accordingly. My weight is a symptom of a larger issue that I need to get a handle on and I'm learning that old habits die hard. I can slip into the negative self talk faster than I can even recognize. In order to make this weight loss a LASTING change, I really do need to do all the work to make it so. Just because it comes off, doesn't mean it will stay off. Keeping it off is a whole new life lesson.

And it's one I'll be ready to tackle this time because I'm going to dig deep, work hard, and make some lasting changes in my life.

5 comments:

  1. I am glad you posted. I want to see you succeed Wendy!

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  2. I am inspired by your posts and really believe you can do this. I also admire you for being able to post about the difficult parts and not just the successes. I've been stuck for so long that I sometimes think that keeping a blog is pointless, but I keep posting anyway. Hey, the only way to get unstuck is to keep focused and never quit, right? :)

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  3. I am so glad you're back. I was very concerned. Dont give up you have come such a long way. Remember you have supporters. You can count me as one of them. Gracie

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  4. You guys are so wonderful. Thank you for being such great supporters! I do appreciate it and I hope you know I'm supporting you all as well! I love reading your posts and gotten so much inspiration from them.

    ~Wendy

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  5. I'm glad you're back. Those of us reading weight loss blogs are totally familiar with the struggle. I think you're brave and honest to post the pounds. Most of us neglect to report the weight when we gain and hope no one asks.

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Thanks for dropping me a note!