I have a big drop.
I get excited.
I expect a big drop again.
I'm disappointed when I'm only down a pound or half pound.
I want to give up.
I go off plan.
I go up in weight.
I get mad at myself.
Sadly, that's been my pattern in the past.
The big drops in the beginning are highly motivating. They propel me forward, keep me focused, and keep me striving for the continued big drops. Unfortunately, weight doesn't always come off in big numbers like I'd like it to so when I'm only down a half pound or pound, I start to lose that focus and determination.
Instinctively, I know that losing at a slow steady pace is much healthier for my body and although I know that, I still expect that the weight will just magically melt away. This is especially true when I've worked hard mentally to stick to plan. The harder my brain works, the more weight I should lose, right?
So, having said all of that, today I'm struggling. I was super jazzed yesterday to lose a pound from Tuesday to Thursday but today my little brain is saying things like "Wow, I'm gonna be losing weight forever at this pace!" and "Ugh! I turned down PIZZA! Isn't that worth more than 1 pound?" and "1 pound ... hmm ... how much water did I drink yesterday? What clothes was I wearing for the weigh in? Did I REALLY lose a pound?", etc. etc. etc.
Yeah, expectations can lead us down dangerous paths.
I need to change my thinking here. Quickly! What a switch from yesterday, huh? The brain does some not so wonderful things to us when we get stuck in our old patterns.
So, instead of focusing on the phoney expectations, I'm speaking a few truths to myself.
First of all, time will pass regardless of whether or not I'm working on this goal or another one. So, why not make the most it and continue working on the one that's most important?
Weight is weight. 1 pound. 2 pounds. .5 pounds. It's all off and gone never to be back again and for that, I'm thankful.
I will not continue to lose huge amounts of weight each week. My body will slow down and this will get harder. I will need to account for each and every calorie in order to reach my goal. That's a normal thing. Being normal (in this case) is good and I need to accept, prepare, and trudge forward.
This morning I put on a sweatshirt that last week had been a bit tight across the chest. In fact, it's the pink sweatshirt I'm wearing in the side picture on the right. I tried it on before I started losing again and the zipper barely went up over my chest. Needless to say, I didn't wear it. But, this morning I cautiously tried again. I wasn't quite sure if I could handle it if it didn't fit or not but I also knew I needed the morning boost if it did. I slipped my arms in and zipped it up without any struggle. Wuhoo!
I need to think about that and how motivating that is instead of focusing on the negative self talk.
Clothes are gonna fit. I'm gonna lose this weight. And life is gonna be great!
Now, time to prep for the weekend. I see a food shopping trip in my near future. Time to stock up for success!