Monday, June 14, 2010

Monday Morning Madness

I'm fighting with myself today.

I was decently on plan over the weekend. I did indulge in one small campfire 'smore while camping but ... I'm not beating myself up over that as frankly, I'd turned down far worse through the rest of the weekend (chips & salsa, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, pancakes, peanut butter, donuts, etc. etc. etc.). Each meal was literally a struggle that I fought and won.

Here's my issue though.

I have no (zero zilch nada) patience. So, when I woke up this morning, my first thought was "Wuhoo! Three days on plan! Bet I've lost enough weight to fit into my capris". Thus, I pulled my capris off my "will wear someday soon pile" and tried to slip them on. They fit exactly like they did before. Tight. Uncomfortable. Muffin top pokin' out. Unacceptable. Ugh!

That's discouraging. Somehow, I felt that the weight needed to come off at the same rate at which I'd struggled through the weekend. Since I'd had to say no to almost EVERY ONE of my food triggers in one single weekend, it's only logical that my body would have shed more weight, right? Although not realistic, I felt that struggle in and of itself would burn those calories off my body.

As we know, that's not how it works.

So, for a gal that's motivated by results, today, I'm not feeling that motivated. The only difference I'm noticing is my grumbling tummy and with that, I'm struggling to hang on and charge forward.

A pound or two might be gone, but I have more than a pound or two to lose before I fit back in those capris. I have 22 pounds and even more than that before I'm at my final goal weight. That's a whole bunch of weekends of saying no and staying focused.

My weigh in is tomorrow. I'm nervous even though I know I did good on plan. I'm worried that if I don't see the results I think I need (god only knows what that is), I won't stick with this. And I need to stick with this.

So, today I'm reminding myself of what Letha says about staying focused and motivated.

Motivation is in the doing. It's the routine. It's the planning. And it's in the results that I know will come eventually. I need to remember that I can do this. By saying no to unhealthy foods, I'm saying yes to a better life. I would rather be thin and feel good about myself than fat and eating those greasy, sugary foods. So, this work I'm doing now, will pay off by getting me to my goal.

Today, it's all about setting a small goal and rewarding myself accordingly so that I don't focus too much on the total I have to lose and get overwhelmed. It's also about getting my stinkin' thinkin' in check so that I don't sabotage myself. I want to pass this hurdle and keep on this path. I, more than anything, want to reach goal.

Yes, more than anything, I want to lose this weight!


  1. A good reminder in this post about motivation. It doesn't just happen, you have to want it, and plan for it to happen; to have it. They say what you plan gets done. And for me these past 2 months I have planned and seen results, so I am buying into that notion. I can sense in your words that you really want this. That gives you a great success probability as compared to those that would just hoping to get to their goal. There is a big difference between hoping for something and truly wanting it.

  2. Wendy,Congratulations on saying NO to the bad and YES to the good this weekend!
    One of the hardest parts of this journey toward a healthy, fit lifestyle is really knowing what we're saying YES to and what we're saying NO to.
    This weekend you said NO to guilt, shame, discouragement, pain, disease, and insecurity. You said YES to life, love, pride, health, future and goodness.
    Our society doesn't always share those truths...that makes the journey harder.
    Keep saying YES! I'm proud of you.

  3. Thanks, Letha. It is amazing that in our society taking care of ourselves is seen as giving something up. It's how I was raised and it sure is a hard thing to change about myself! I'm working on it though! Thanks so much for being an inspiration and support. I appreciate it so much!


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