I'm fighting with myself today.
I was decently on plan over the weekend. I did indulge in one small campfire 'smore while camping but ... I'm not beating myself up over that as frankly, I'd turned down far worse through the rest of the weekend (chips & salsa, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, pancakes, peanut butter, donuts, etc. etc. etc.). Each meal was literally a struggle that I fought and won.
Here's my issue though.
I have no (zero zilch nada) patience. So, when I woke up this morning, my first thought was "Wuhoo! Three days on plan! Bet I've lost enough weight to fit into my capris". Thus, I pulled my capris off my "will wear someday soon pile" and tried to slip them on. They fit exactly like they did before. Tight. Uncomfortable. Muffin top pokin' out. Unacceptable. Ugh!
That's discouraging. Somehow, I felt that the weight needed to come off at the same rate at which I'd struggled through the weekend. Since I'd had to say no to almost EVERY ONE of my food triggers in one single weekend, it's only logical that my body would have shed more weight, right? Although not realistic, I felt that struggle in and of itself would burn those calories off my body.
As we know, that's not how it works.
So, for a gal that's motivated by results, today, I'm not feeling that motivated. The only difference I'm noticing is my grumbling tummy and with that, I'm struggling to hang on and charge forward.
A pound or two might be gone, but I have more than a pound or two to lose before I fit back in those capris. I have 22 pounds and even more than that before I'm at my final goal weight. That's a whole bunch of weekends of saying no and staying focused.
My weigh in is tomorrow. I'm nervous even though I know I did good on plan. I'm worried that if I don't see the results I think I need (god only knows what that is), I won't stick with this. And I need to stick with this.
So, today I'm reminding myself of what Letha says about staying focused and motivated.
Motivation is in the doing. It's the routine. It's the planning. And it's in the results that I know will come eventually. I need to remember that I can do this. By saying no to unhealthy foods, I'm saying yes to a better life. I would rather be thin and feel good about myself than fat and eating those greasy, sugary foods. So, this work I'm doing now, will pay off by getting me to my goal.
Today, it's all about setting a small goal and rewarding myself accordingly so that I don't focus too much on the total I have to lose and get overwhelmed. It's also about getting my stinkin' thinkin' in check so that I don't sabotage myself. I want to pass this hurdle and keep on this path. I, more than anything, want to reach goal.
Yes, more than anything, I want to lose this weight!