I'm not a person that likes to be hungry. I know that's probably a common tidbit amongst most people but, in fact, I will avoid it all costs. I'll down massive amounts of water to stave off the disaster of a hunger pain or ... if it gets too bad ... I'll give into the pain and munch down a treat or two ... or three ... or four .... I hardly ever even let my hunger get to the hunger pain stage. If I feel that it "might" happen, I'll try to jump ahead of it in a panic.
This has to be psychological. I've never been without food at any time in my life so I'm guessing this has little to do with starvation and much more to do with my own tantrum of being told no.
I say no to myself and suddenly I feel deprived. I panic. My brain screams like a wild child in the grocery store and my no soon turns into a food obsession. Once it gets to the obsession point, I feel I've lost the battle and that's when the snickers, donuts, pizza, or other calorie derailments pass through my then quivering lips.
I'm having a hard time turning that part of my brain off these days. I keep giving into it which makes it even harder to stick with it the next time.
To be honest, I'm not quite sure how to get around this little issue. I'm attempting to talk myself out of it by using the rationale of how crappy I feel when I go off plan vs when I'm losing the weight. I'm trying to convince my brain that I will not shrivel up in a ball, go into convulsions, and immediately die if I pass by the candy dish without dipping my hand in for a treat.
Perhaps this isn't a time when I need to convince myself though. Perhaps this is a time when I need to just say no and then stick with it. My brain can kick, scream, writhe around and throw a pity party all it wants, but my stick-to-it-ness will eventually see me through to a drop in weight and another shot of motivation. Hmmm .... interesting concept. I'm going to attempt to stop talking with myself about this and instead truly commit to the decision of losing the weight which means, that no rationale or discussion is needed. I'm on a plan. I will stick with it. End of story.
Take that brain!
On other news, I'm up slightly to 224 today. Not too bad considering my surgery still has me quite bloated and distended.
Armed with my new mentality, I'm looking forward to a good drop on Thursday.