Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Stepping Back to Reality

Oh boy! Stepping on the scale in front of the team challenge participants made me weak in the knees yesterday!

I know I haven't been as on plan as I should be ... that's no surprise. But to be the first person in the noon group to get a "wuhaw" (forgive the spelling any army guys out there) because I was "up just a little" .... yeah, um, painful!

Ugh. So not something I ever want to hear again.

The good news is that I'm once again refocused and committed. I will not be hearing the whole room chant "wuhaw" ever again. Ever. Never ever. I know they say never to say never but I do mean never. Ever. Never ever ever. Did I happen to mention that I'll never hear it again?

Ok, I think you've got the idea.

There's such a difference between halfheartedly committing to something all the while making up excuses as to why you can't do it and wholeheartedly embracing the process and pushing through it. The last couple weeks I've been halfheartedly in this weight loss thing. I've been tired, antsy, and unmotivated. As a result, my weight has gone up, down, and all around. I've tossed out silly questions (yes, there is such a thing and Letha has confirmed it) such as can I really do this? and how much longer do I really need to keep going? and will I even be able to keep this off anyway? And in so doing have successfully gotten caught up in a serious case of agitation and weight-loss stalling.

This week though, I'm wholeheartedly committed to seeing this though. After all, I only have 30 pounds to lose. 30 pounds, when I've lost 120, is nothing. If I can bang this out, I'll be done.

As part of my renewed focus and to get a ticket in the drawing this week, I finally put together my weight loss vision.

Picture me, 30 pounds lighter, wearing a size 6, comfortable with who I am, loving the life that's present in that moment, and feeling empowered because I've accomplished such an amazing goal.

The last bit is what puts me over the edge. The feelings of empowerment, control, success, and awe that will fill me when I finally hit my 150 pound weight loss goal will be worth all the headaches, skipping of gummy worms and afternoon lattes that will need to happen over the coming weeks.

On September 25, I had officially been on my weight loss path for a year. I was going to mark the occasion with a big post about the whole thing but truthfully haven't done that because I haven't felt all that excited about it. Today I feel excited.

The thing is though, it's not important to note how long I've been going in this direction but instead to celebrate the fact that it's slowly - and with each struggle like the ones I've just gone through - becoming more of a life choice and habit.

This is who I am.

I love the quote that says: I'm not what I could be and I'm not what I should be but thank goodness I'm not what I used to be.

I love that. It's my motto these days and I'm stickin' to it!


  1. This is the quote that inspires me:

    "Picture me ... comfortable with who I am, loving the life that's present in that moment, and feeling empowered because I've accomplished such an amazing goal."


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