Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Food is the Frenemy

I did well over the weekend food wise. I've realized though that loneliness is one of my biggest triggers.

TS went on a last minute camping trip with some buddies for the weekend and I was therefore left alone, at home, with the rain, and nothing to do to fill up my days. That left me with a feeling of loneliness and of course, for me, that brought on some pretty strong cravings. Normally I would have used this as an opportunity to get out and be active but with the heavy rains we experienced, that wasn't an option.

There were so many times over the weekend that I battled with myself over food. Silly really but somehow my brain was trying to convince me that if I stuffed my face, I'd somehow not be alone. Like food would be my friend.

Well, as I've come to realize slowly but surely, food friendships are fleeting. Food is a "frenemy" (half friend more enemy). It's great when it's right in the moment but over time it hurts me, stabs me in the back, and makes me miserable. Truly more enemy than friend.

I'm happy to report that I successfully turned down all food temptation and instead choose to deal with my feelings. By the time Monday rolled around, I felt like a whole new woman. Having dealt with the feelings of loneliness (admitted to them, journaled about them, and then dealt with them accordingly), I was able to turn down my frenemy and close that door on the cycle.

Last night TS took me out to dinner at a pizza joint. I then made a choice to have some pizza with my salad. It was different though than giving into a temptation and over indulging to stuff down an emotion or feeling. This was a choice and I didn't go overboard. I had one slice which I enjoyed to the last bite. Treating it as a choice instead of a temptation meant there was no guilt afterwards.

Food isn't friendship, love, companionship, or the solution. Working through that is tough though. I'm thankful I'm at the point where I can recognize what my triggers are and that I can then combat them when they rear their ugly heads.

Not saying I'm perfect ... but who cares! Here's to progress!

2 comments:

  1. Good for you for facing your feelings and working them through. Stuffing them down with food always seems easier then taking them head on.

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  2. It just goes to show how far you have come - not turning to food to fill a void. Yes, it is definitely the brain that needs the most working on to be successful.

    Well done you!

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