Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Changing My Thinking

Ok, folks. I have a serious case of stinkin' thinkin'.

Yesterday in my workout I said more "I Can'ts" than should be humanly allowed. I told myself I couldn't complete the runs. I said to myself that I was weak. I kept thinking that I'd never make it through the hour. I kept repeating to myself how much I hated burpees. I kept saying that working out this hard didn't benefit my body. And thus, given all this, I struggled through the workout big time.

I struggled in my food consumption too. I craved all day. From melba toast (yippee) to gummy worms to licorice to extra protein ... it was on my brain and if not in my mouth, very close to it. Had goodies been available in the break room (which thankfully they were not) I would have been off plan in a heartbeat. As it was, I did go off plan with an afternoon Starbucks (that's become routine and must stop) and sour gummy worms from Safeway.

Today, instead of focusing on the activities of losing weight, I'm solely focused on my own mental state.

After 120 pounds, I've realized that 90% of weight loss is mental. It's about being positive, upbeat, and dedicated to making it through this process. That's the key. Telling myself that I can do this, will help me actually do it.

I've noticed that lately I've been outwardly saying "I will do this" but inwardly questioning whether or not I will.

Today I'm no longer questioning or offering fluff to my faithful blog readers. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I'm committed to seeing this through.

So, to help me with this, I'm over and over repeating that I can do this. I will do this. And there is no other option.

As Letha would say, I've made a decision and I'm officially cutting myself off from any other possibility.


  1. Wendy, I too, have walked through this "season" you are in. I know it well. I struggled through it. Fought myself. Beat myself up. Loathed being disciplined and craved discipline all in the same breath. I have cheated through weeks before only to tell myself "you are bad".

    ...but this is a new season. New vision. New intensity. Sold out "Red Zone" focus to finally meet my goal weight. No more excuses. No more taking care of people more than myself. No more bad self talk. Come along with me! Let's finish this "thang" out together! Let's celebrate together during the holidays that we showed up to the challenge for our health and that we came and conquered! You in? Let's go! We CAN do this, we are doing this, and we will soon be screaming "We got 'er done!"


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