Last night we worked to put in 10 ton of hay for the horses. Oh boy! What a job!
It was a really great project though not just because it was four hours of back breaking work that successfully got me out of a night at the gym ... but more so because it was a great opportunity to remember where I was last year at this time. Sweating, miserable, unable to lift the bales into the truck, and (at the end of an hours work) throwing up from the physical excursion. That was me. In fact, more often than not, I paid other people to do the hard work while I sat in the truck and watched.
I hated doing that, by the way. It was embarrassing. I always felt like the fat girl and, well, I was. I so wanted to be fit enough to be taking care of my own horsey project!
So, this year was different.
With some great friends working by my side (thanks Holly and Ron!), I put in 10 ton of hay ... I lifted 70 - 80 pound bales by myself ... I tossed them onto the trailer ... I tossed them off the trailer ... I traipsed across the pasture without getting winded ... and I successfully completed the project.
What a rush! In all the time I've owned my horses, I've never been able to do that. Amazing, right? Bucking hay is something most horse owners do!
At the end of the evening, I was tired but I was so proud of myself for having made such progress in my fitness. Last night reminded me that losing weight is about so much more than just the weight. It's about becoming the person I want to be, doing the things I want to do, and truly living the life I want to live.
You might think that's a dramatic conclusion to draw while bucking hay but each time I lifted a bale, I was reminded that the weight (and then some) used to hold me back by being on my body as fat. Physically throwing the bale and figuratively the weight into the bed of the trailer was a great mental exercise.
Each time I tossed a bale I said to myself, never again will I have that weight on my body ... never again will that weight stop me from doing what I want to do ... and never, ever, ever again will I be the fat girl sitting cowardly in the truck.