Going up and going down and, inevitably, going back up again.
That's been my life for 32 years. I was the cute, chubby baby. I was an average child ~ big boned my grandma used to say ~ and as a teenager I was overweight. Not obese per se but I certainly could have dropped a few pounds. I was active so that probably held off a lot of the weight. I lost weight in college and was cute and trim. And then I graduated and put it all (and then some) back on when I got my first desk job. I've been up and down ever since then.
I was talking with someone last night that's had gastric bypass surgery a couple years ago. She lost a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of weight. Recently, she's started gaining it back.
She was relating her ups and downs with weight and I could and did SO relate to her struggles.
As she was talking though, I just kept thinking, "This will not happen to me again." I meant it. Those words went through my brain with such conviction that I was a bit taken back by them.
I've worried that I will balloon back up because ... well ... that's what I've done in the past.
As she was talking though, my brain kept interjecting with tidbits of my new truths such as the fact that we can't let our past behavior dictate our futures. My brain was telling me that I could make a choice to keep the weight off. How liberating is that! It's in my control! Finally! Something I CAN actually control.
I refuse to be in the same position she's in now with a yo-yo diet and the unhappiness that brings.
Giving in and giving up (ballooning back up in weight) is not an option.