Saturday, May 9, 2009

Unfriendly Friends

As I'm going through my weight loss journey, I'm learning that not everyone is supportive of my progress. It's a very odd thing really to have friends not be so friendly when you're making such huge changes in your life.

I was talking with an-unnamed-"friend" at the start of my journey and the conversation turned to weight loss which is often the discourse shared between women.

She brought up the topic and I was excited because I'm on this big weight loss journey and therefore felt I had some things to share. She made a comment about how hard it was for her to lose weight and I naively added that yes, it was hard but that I was so excited because, as of that moment (a week or two into the program), I had shed 10 pounds (happy dance)!

After a short pause, her response was (very sarcastically) ... "Well, that's easy to do when you have SO MUCH to lose."

Hmm... ok perhaps true ... but ... um ... how rude!

Being the goober that I am, I took this to heart and this nasty comment made a nice cozy home in my brain. It rang the bell each time I weighed in (another two pounds ... oh please, that was easy!), it stamped it's foot when someone congratulated me (oh please, whatever, you're fat!) and it tried to push every positive thought out my ear so as to have more space for it's negative friends.

Then I stumbled into Letha's weight loss workshop expecting to take a little morsel of brain food home with me but not expecting my attitude to be impacted.

Letha was telling us that we were we're going to learn about boundaries and control.

Immediately my hackles came up. I am a TOTAL control freak! So .... WOWZA whatever we were going to cover would be d-i-f-f-i-c-u-l-t!

As she went through the control stuff, one of the things that really struck a cord with me was that we all came into this world with a backpack. In the backpack were the things that we were meant to carry with us through life. These were the things that make us who we are and that we can control.

For more information on that sorta thing, best to check with the experts. I'm sure Letha and Glenda would be more than happy to fill you in on the full details on your next visit.

Anyway, what the backpack meant was that each person in this world was responsible for their own pack. Essentially, we were all responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and attitudes.

The wheels were turning.

I started thinking about the comment from my friend.

The reality was that I had no control over what she thought (the art of mind control hasn't been perfected) or said to me. But I did have control over my reaction.

Hmmm... oh crap. The bad news was that I had to take responsibility for letting her comment get me down in the dumps. The good news was that I also could change my thinking and control how those comments impact me.

So I put that plan into action.

The next time someone complimented me on my weight loss ... I hesitated ... took a second to serve an eviction notice on the negative comments ... and responded with a huge smile, a thank you, and a positive self thought of "yeah, losing this weight is amazing and it's darn hard work!!!"
And wouldn't you know it, my head actually took in the compliment and offered it residence in the cozy, empty little house the negativity once lived in.

As an aside, Letha's Workshop series is available on CD. If you've not heard her series or if you need a refresher, I strongly suggest you check it out. I learned soooo much about myself while listening to the CDs and I don't think I'd still be working the begeezers outta this plan had I not had that foundation.

1 comment:

  1. Ohhh, this is sad! I would venture to say that if someone that is considered a "friend" is not supportive or says harsh things as this, they have issues of insecurity themselves. Sorry you had to feel this way. :-(


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