Monday, May 18, 2009
100 Pound Picture
By popular demand (ok so only two of you mentioned it but it's fun to say "popular demand" ... so ... yeah ... anyhoo), here's a 100 pound picture.
I actually really love this picture but not so much for how I look (although for the second time in a row of seeing pics of myself I'm not throwing up in my mouth) more so because it clearly shows such a change in my life and thinking.
Here's the back story.
My grandpa lost his fight with cancer on Thursday. He was always an outdoorsy type. He loved to hunt, fish, hike, trek up mountains ... you name an outdoor activity and he was probably hammering to do it. So it seemed fitting that I would strike out on a hike while processing through his passing.
I harassed my friend Holly into going with me to Rock Creek which is a trail I've ridden on horseback many many times, never hiked, but always kinda wanted to.
As an aside, I've not hiked many trails as an adult. When I was a kid my dad would take us out on overnight camping trips where we'd pack our gear into the wilderness and hang for a few days. I had some good memories of us meandering through the woods together. Anyway, the older I got, the fatter I got, the less I wanted to do such things and eventually only got to the back country on horseback instead of on foot. Poor horsey!
But on Saturday, I wanted to do it the old fashioned way. The way my grandpa would have done it.
The weather was great as was the company. Holly and I jibber jabbered the whole way through the hike. I just know my grandpa would have loved being with us as we passed through some of the most amazing untouched country. He would have enjoyed the views of the mountains and he probably could have told us the name of every plant and wildflower we stumbled upon.
Holly and I meandered through the woods and across the hills, I did think about my grandpa a lot and the influence he's had on my life. Being in such a quiet place (even though we were sure talking a lot and making it not-so-quiet) helped quiet my heart and therefore my brain processed through a lot of things.
The old me would have run to the nearest pizza joint instead of trying to process through my feelings but the new me, the one in this picture, saw this as an opportunity to reflect and confront my pain and relish the memory of the good things about my grandpa.
Here I am, decked out in all my hiking gear finery, a big smile on my face, loving life and looking forward to being closer to those memories instead of running away from them.
I sure like the new me better!